One of the things that Thomas and I started doing 2 ½ years ago, when we begin dating, was setting aside time deliberately on a weekly basis for date night.
Just he and I usually. Sometimes with friends but NEVER with kids!
Sometimes it is a sexy dress with heels for me and a suit for him. Sometimes it is jeans and UGG boots with a puffy zip-up vest.
It doesn’t really matter what the occasion is or where we are going, or what the attire is. It’s more about those 2-4 hours that are set aside for him to just look at me and me to just look at him.
Lately, during the weekdays, we have also been squeezing in a day date or breakfast where we walk down to the beach and get brunch together with the baby.
We think it’s really important and we were talking about it last night at our last date night. Both of us were pondering what makes it such a non-negotiable item for us.
Some photos from last year’s date night when I was big and pregnant popped up on my Facebook and reminded me that we have been doing this little ritual of ours for quite a while.
I think it’s really important for us because it’s time when no one is interrupting us, no one needs to be disciplined, no one needs to be encouraged. All the attention is really on each other rather than getting pulled away and placed on a child.
In the long run, I think it’s really good for the kids too because they see that the adults’ relationship in the family is equally as important, if not more important, than the adult relationship with the child.
With all of the time, effort, and emotional output we put into our family sometimes it is easy to get distracted from what the heart of the family is…which is the relationship between the couple.
Once that starts to falter the family can easily fall apart. It’s really important for Mom and Dad (or Two Moms or Two Dads) to have a strong relationship together and to have that time to nurture that.
I really think of mine and Thomas’ relationship as the sixth child and it needs attention and love too! It needs time to grow. If you don’t set that time aside you end up just having two adults that are working their asses off to pay the bills and fighting over who has to change the next diaper!
The good stuff, the gift, the meat of the family, is that loving relationship between the parents!
It’s an opportunity for Mom to show the kids how a Man should be treated. How he should be talked to, respectfully, taken care of and loved on. That Dad is special and he works his butt off for all the nice things we have.
It’s also an opportunity for the Dad to show the kids how important Mom is and how hard she works to put dinner on the table. That mom is beautiful, how she keeps our family on track and gets us where we need to be.
There are many different roles that the parents play in different family dynamics. Basically what I’m saying is that this is a great opportunity to show your children how they should expect to be treated when they grow up. And in turn, how they should be treating their mate in a loving relationship that is successful.
I loved growing up and seeing my parents love each other. I was always well aware of the fact that they liked each other way more than they liked me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
A natural and healthy relationship has the children growing up and starting their own lives. It is ridiculous for the parents to put all of the effort into the children when they are going to grow up and move away and start their own relationships.
The parents need to put effort into each other so that there is still a relationship left when the kids leave the nest!
Plus it’s so much fun! I love going out with him! He makes me feel sexy, wanted, needed, and listened to. He makes me laugh and it’s a great reset for the whole week because our date night smooths over all the bumps that have happened throughout the week. When I have date night to look forward to, I can shrug off a lot of the crap that the kids do. It’s a huge, well-deserved reward!
It’s my time with my man and I will never give it up! It’s a reward that Thomas and I totally deserve, and so do all other couples that work hard for each other and their family!